What the heck has happened? Is this for real?

August 15th has usually been a good day for me, for no particular reason other than good things typically happen to me on that day.  It all depends on our you look at it.

My day started with a work out at a gym I have come to really enjoy, Fine Fit in Summit, NJ.  Then a shower before heading off to my primary care physician for my referrals to my Asthma doctor.  While I was there a pain began on my left side.  I explained this to my primary and she told me to contact my Gastro doctor.  I had had the routine colonoscopy 5 weeks earlier and had been experiencing some uncomfortable symptoms: upset stomach, cramping, constipation.  But what woman age doesn't feel like this. But this was pain, real pain and it was localized on my left side, mid abdomen.  She told me to call the gastroenterologist.  I got into my car and called and asked to be seen immediately - he was on vacation of course - but the pain in my voice was obvious and I was recommended to go to the urgent care center.  In the 2.3 miles it took to get there the pain was unbearable.  The staff was so concerned that they began to prep me for surgery.  Blood tests and a chest X-ray were done but also an abdominal X-ray.  Both showed nothing.  So a CT scan was done, with contrast, which means you have to drink that yucky stuff, wait and hour, drink more yucky stuff, wait another hour and then the scan.  The doctor suspected that I had an undiagnosed, burst diverticulitis - I was going with that diagnosis.  But then the results showed that I had what they called a cystic lesion on my pancreas.  I was admitted to the hospital for pain management and we discovered that it would take 3 days to get the Endoscopy.  So Friday the 18th I had that test and they performed a biopsy of the pancreas and the cyst.  We were referred to a surgeon and saw him on Monday morning and he scheduled me for surgery for the next Friday.  It was strange but I was really was not that concerned as I am a relatively healthy person.  I eat a good diet, exercise and do the things you are supposed to do to stay healthy.  So later that night when the surgeon called and informed us that the biopsy was positive for cancer we were floored!  There are other words but none of them really fit with how I feel:  surreal, in denial, confused.....

It was important for us to tell my parents and our children first.  This took the entire week.  I ignored phone calls and texts.  We told my parents on Friday night and our kids on Saturday.  Then our siblings and friends.  Dear friends, Barbara and Rich Rosa went out of their way to help us get a second opinion.  So Tuesday night (8 days after diagnosis and 4 days before surgery was scheduled).  We met with the Chief of Hepatopancreatobiliary (I double dog dare you to pronounce that) at Sloan Kettering in NYC.  He recommended that I have Chemotherapy prior to surgery in order to shrink the tumor and any microscopic cancer cells in the area and then have surgery. I was not expecting this. After I almost fell off the examining table, my husband Tom and son Patrick made it clear that this was the most logical decision.

In the mean time we have reached out to family and friends to ask them to bombard heaven with prayers - which worked, as we believe they brought us to this point.  We will continue to rely upon you for prayers for the tumor to shrink, for any microscopic cancer cells to be destroyed by the chemo, for strength, healing etc.

So, was August 15 a good day for me?  It all depends on how you look at it.  I was in pain and it was discovered that I had cancer BUT, with your prayers, thoughts and good vibes, I will remain strong enough to fight this.  I have been in a few fights in my life (let's not talk about that right now) but this will be the fight of my life.  I'm depending on you to help me through as I believe that with all of your support I will win.

I will keep you posted.......  a CT scan tomorrow and a Chemo consult on the 12th.